I'm have been free in life for the past top months and the amount of freedom is both enlightning and scary. When I was in a realationship ship there is warmth and stablity and now that I have no "Relationships" Life is fast and new. But i'm already longing to go back to the way it was, but it was me being with someone that seemed to cause me pain or atleast fear that i was out in the world.
But now I'm being faced with something I'm trying to choose to start again with someone i'm felt something for for 3 years or reject being with them and continue living alone and learning about me and the world. My thoughs and feels are shifting so fast thats its hard to write them down. But i'm atleast trying.
This just seems to be a case of trying to have your cake and eating it too.
Listening to: fan blowing